OK…I have tried to deny it, but…I was seriously depressed over the holidays. This is the first Christmas without my mom. I miss her so much. She lived with me for 22 years…It’s like losing an arm. And today I realized I’m still depressed…I can’t seem to get it together. I’m tired and sleep a lot, or escape in a book…but I am not getting anything done. My house needs a deep clean, my garden need attention, I need to finish blocking the play before the next rehearsal…but I can’t seem to do it. Intellectually I know what it is…but, emotionally …I’m stuck.
5 comments:
Oh Peaches-- I know exactly what you mean. I am so sorry.
xo
Thanks, Joanna.
I am so sorry for you loss, Peaches.
And I hope you'll cut yourself some serious slack for the time being. the first big holiday season after someone you love passes away is just devastating.
Sending much love,
First: Don't be hard on yourself!! My mom was dead for one full year on the day I first caught myself doing something as simple as SMILING! Okay. That's extreme, but it happened.
I fight deep, dark depression pretty frequently. It always amazes me, when I look back, at HOW LONG IT LASTED!
During those times I don't want to get out of bed, change my clothes, clean my house. It's always: "why bother?"
This last time was THE WORSE. Accidentally I found myself staring at an abused dog at one of those adoption clinics. I stared at him. He stared at me. We were both abused, downtrodden, hopeless. I picked him up and my next thought was about HIM instead of about ME.
I took him home. That was one month ago. We need each other, and now there's more for me to think about than what I've lost.
sorry, but I had to mention it.
I have been where you are. This was the 2nd holiday without my mother and I was bound and determined not to go into a funk like I did last year. What you are experiencing is quite normal. I spent yesterday counting my blessings to ward off the winter blues. It helped. Take care of yourself and remember to smile.
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